From darkness to light - My path to Jesus

My story is filled with many experiences and details that I can only present here in a very condensed form. What you are reading here is a summary of almost 30 years of my life.

I was born in 1991 in the Rhine-Main region in Germany and grew up in a strictly religious Jehovah's Witness family. Even as a child, however, I felt I didn't fit in. The social pressure, the fear of exclusion, and the feeling of never being good enough shaped my childhood. Very early on, I became the "black sheep"—and sought my own path.

My relationship with my family began to crumble when I was 12. I slid deeper and deeper into crime, found my "family" on the streets, and lived a life of theft, burglary, violence, and one criminal charge after another. At 19, I ended up in prison—and came out even harder, colder, and more disoriented than before.

I searched for answers – in drugs, in nightlife, in status, in the scene, but also in knowledge. I devoured books on natural sciences, mythology, spirituality, and occultism. While outwardly I remained the tough guy, inwardly I was a young man searching for something he couldn't name.

Over the years, my environment became almost exclusively shaped by spirituality and the occult. Paranormal experiences suddenly became part of my everyday life. I thought I had "higher knowledge"—but I didn't realize how I was becoming increasingly entangled in a web of lies and darkness. I knew there was an invisible world. But I didn't understand who was behind it.

Until the day I thought I had to sell my soul—in a night filled with fear, pressure, and despair. That night began a spiritual nightmare that ultimately landed me in a psychiatric ward. Doctors couldn't help me. Medication didn't help. I knew for sure: This wasn't an illness. This was possession.

At my lowest point—just before I wanted to end my life—my cell phone rang. A number I didn't recognize. When I called back, it was a childhood friend. We hadn't been in touch for seven years. That morning, he said, he'd suddenly felt the urge to tell me about Jesus.

We met, went for a walk, talked. And the more he spoke about Jesus, the more I felt something I had never felt before in my life: peace. As if someone I had never seen, yet always known, was embracing me.

That evening we were sitting in the car. He quoted words from the Bible to me. And in that moment, something happened that would change my life forever: I felt Jesus. I felt the Holy Spirit. It was like a wave of love, peace, and purity that silenced all the darkness within me. No intoxication in this world can even come close to that.

I knew: Jesus is real. And he is stronger than anything that held me captive.

In the months that followed, I continued to struggle – spiritual attacks, fear, threats. But something inside me had changed. I began to pray. I listened to the Gospel of John to fall asleep. My friend prayed for me in my apartment – and peace returned.

But I was faced with a decision:
Do I want my old life back – or Jesus?

I prayed. And Jesus showed me my whole life in a dream: the old path that leads to destruction, and the new path I should walk with him. Scene by scene, it later became reality.

Finally, I made the decision: I will be baptized.

I knew that this would turn many people against me – and that's exactly what happened. But Jesus said just two words to me that evening, and they changed everything:

"Trust me."

I was baptized in the indoor swimming pool – in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
When I came out of the water, it was quiet.
Peace.
Love.
Protection.
I was free!

From that day on, Jesus changed everything, step by step. The fear subsided. The pressure subsided. The spiritual terror lost its power. I found a Christian community where I was accepted and loved—not for my past, but for what God wanted me to become.

Today I carry within me a peace that I have sought my entire life.
Not earned, not worked for – simply by grace.

Without Jesus, I would be dead today.
With Jesus I have a new life, a new identity, and a new purpose.

Praise the Lord – for his faithfulness, his patience, and his love.